Here are some past golden nuggets that eventually led to me deciding to do this blog...
Me: "Did you draw that airplane all by yourself? How did you know how to draw that?"
Son: "Uh, with my imagination."
October 22, 2010
Daughter's first words: (1) more, (2) shoes. It's frightening how early divas start.
September 28 at 8:17pm
Heard loudly from the bathroom: "Hey Mommy, do you know how Bakugons poop and pee? In their tummy because they have a penis and butt in their tummy.
And I can say poop and pee and penis and butt because I'm in the bathroom!!!"
And I can say poop and pee and penis and butt because I'm in the bathroom!!!"
October 6 at 6:00pm
"Mommy, is heaven up there with those planets on my wall?"
Damn, did I forget to draw heaven in this space mural?! Uh, I mean, "Yeah, it's there, it's just invisible."
Son: "Excuse me, I farted... And it's gonna smell for a loooooonnggg time!"
Atta boy. Honesty and accuracy.
October 13 at 7:52pm
On prioritizing: "Mommy, Target doesn't have the Star Wars toys I want yet, so I'm interested in continuing to get car toys until they have them."
October 17, 2010
Me: "That's another reason I don't like those crayons - I really need to just throw them out." Jacob: "That's another reason I don't like you."
September 11 at 7:11pm
"I don't want my fingers to grow bigger everyday, Mommy, I want them to grow only on Saturdays."
Uh, ok, fine with me.
August 18 at 8:32pm
Son: "That's not Daddy, that's a Monster who cooks dinner and puts me to bed and drinks coffee!"
Hmm - Doesn't sound like such a monster to me - sounds like the best daddy ever.
June 20 at 1:54pm
RE: Sinkhole: "Mommy, did you hear about the cannonball hole in New York City?!"
Okay, some minor details are off, but boy, the kid's up on his current events!
June 1 at 7:49pm
I'm amused that my son calls one of his favorite comic book characters the "Credible" Hulk. He's not so much amazing as he is believable and trustworthy, I guess.
May 2 at 6:54am
Words I wish my child didn't state quite so proudly: "Mommy! I figured out how to break this!!!"
March 14 at 7:38pm
My son just informed me he needs bigger nipples so he could look like the Incredible Hulk.
January 31 at 8:12pm
My son informed me that "dried mangos makes me miserable."
Uh, thanks for letting me know - I'll keep that on file.
January 17 at 1:50pm
My son announced that Martin "The King's" birthday is coming up. MLK would have been quite amused with this little white child's comment.
January 7 at 1:45pm
My 3-year old's comment about cartoon characters dancing (Madagascar): "Look at them shaking their bootie!"
November 8, 2009 at 1:56p
11/6/09
There's nothing quite as touching (and relieving to hear) as your first-born requesting a penny and making the following wish in the fountain: "I wish my baby sister would come."
July 25, 2009 at 8:17pm
Others (circa late 2010, son is 4.5 years old):
My son to his teacher: "Your hair looks adorable."
Teacher: "Could be better."
Son:"Could be worse?"
After hearing the weather report: "Mommy why is snow 'bad weather'?"
Me: "Remember that - Mommy is ALWAYS right."
Son: "And the trash is ALWAYS gonna be stinky."
Poor Diversion Skills:
Son: "What's that smell that smells like a fart?"
Me: "Your fart."
Paradoxical Poop Psychology:
Son: "Ewww, I never want to see poop like that again!"
Me: "Then why do you keep insisting on looking at it?"
Son: "Because I'm fascinated by it."
Son with a serious face and holding up two fingers: "Do NOT smell my butt, Mommy, I just made TWOOOO farts!"
Son: "Mommy, this song is gonna make me go coo-coo with all these bathroom words."
Son singing: "Where would we be without the beauty of the Serengeti..." End singing. (fart) "'Scuse me."
On Giving Thanks: "Mommy, I'm thankful for being here with you and not on your plate."
Oedipal Complex #2:
Son: "I want a bunk bed!"
Me: "Who would sleep on top?"
Son: "Daddy"
Me: "But where would I go?"
Son: "You would have a bed next to me"
Me [insert sarcasm after kids fighting for the same thing]: "What?! You and your sister like the SAME thing? Impossible!"
Son: "No, not impossible; a MIRACLE!"
Oedipal Complex #1:
Son: "Mommy, I wish we had 5 people in the family"
Me: "That means I'd have to have another baby"
Son: "No, that means we'd need another daddy"
Me: "I don't think daddy would be very happy about that"
Son: "No, I would be the other daddy."
Son: "Mommy, do you think I ask like a million questions?"
Yes, this one included.
